Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
