hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
