do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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