Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
