3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
