Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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