You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
