I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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