Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
