I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
