belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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