The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize