is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
