Someone shit on the floor
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We got so high we made milksteak
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
