Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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