College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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