I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
