i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
