I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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