You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
