Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
