no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
