There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
