I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
