please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
