woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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