yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
