First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
