So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
