just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
