I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
