I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
