You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
