do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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