shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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