i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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