Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
