i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
