i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
