Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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