When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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