..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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