I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
