This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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