He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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