Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
