We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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