It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
