Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I am naked and annoyed.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
as a side note pls kill me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
