is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
