In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
