Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
